


In the Woods Somewhere

by Verdantsolstice



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because I can't write anything else apparently, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Slow Burn, There’s only one bed oh no, Twitter Prompt, ben has a secret, lawyer ben, rey is an engineer at land rover, unbeta'd because I can't be tamed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verdantsolstice/pseuds/Verdantsolstice
Summary: inspired by agalacticidiots twitter prompt: Hikers Ben & Rey meet on the trail when they’re both lost. Hours of walking lead them to a convent in the woods. The sisters are very friendly, but refuse to let them both stay unless they’re married.All hail Fran - I'm continuously astonished with the frequency one person can lift our souls and break our hearts
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 31
Kudos: 98
Collections: Galactic Idiots Collection





	1. My skin was soaked

It had been raining for the last hour and Rey had been lost for the last two. 

_“20 kilometers won’t take me that long, I’ll be back before the storm sets in, it’ll be fine!”_ Rey mocked herself as she stomped along the increasingly muddy trail. When she’d left her holiday rental this morning the sun was shining, the birds were singing, it was a beautiful October day. She knew there was a chance the rain would start before she returned, but a little rain wasn’t going to stop her. She was British, afterall, and what self-respecting British adventurer shied away at a little rain?

This was more than a little rain. 

This was a fucking biblical downpour. 

It started while she was on an open section of the trail, and her rain jacket was holding up fairly well, so she continued on what she thought was the trail. She had chosen a loop that began and ended at the visitor’s centre where she’d parked her Land Rover Defender. Well, not _her_ Defender. It was a loan from her boss. Rey had just celebrated her one year anniversary with the engineering department of Land Rover, and as a gift to herself, she was on her first holiday ever. When her boss, Amilyn, heard that this was Rey’s first trip, she offered one of the company cars for the week. Rey had been giddy as she drove from the company lot, and was loath to leave it during the ferry trip over the Channel. Driving through the Irish countryside had been a dream. Mercifully the weather had been sunny and warm enough to the point where she could drive with the windows down and the music blaring. 

That was only yesterday, but now, shivering, Rey felt like it had been a lifetime ago. She couldn’t figure out where she had gone wrong, what left turn should have been a right or how far she had even walked. By the time she realized she was lost, her phone had died. The battery probably drained from playing music and while trying to find a signal. She cursed her stupidity for not bringing a physical map or telling someone where she was going. She’d read countless articles about hiking safety and knew all the tips and yet here she was, lost, soaked through with rain, and starting to get more than a little bit scared. 

She didn’t know exactly when the sun set in Killarney in October, but she guessed it was probably somewhere around 19:00. She had begun her hike shortly after noon, the map had said the trail would take 4-4.5 hours at a moderate pace, ensuring she’d be back at her car well before it got dark. It was hard to tell with the storm darkening the sky, but she guessed sunset was only a few hours before nightfall. She hadn’t seen another soul for what felt like hours and was fighting the panic rising in her chest. The fear that she was going to be spending the night in Killarney National Park had very much set in. 

Her mind was moving a mile a minute, trying to decide whether she should turn around (but she didn’t know the way back), stay put (but what if she was close to civilisation), or keep going (but what if she got _more_ lost). She was under the cover of a thick forest now, it felt ancient with moss covering many of the trees and ferns bursting up in the spaces between the trunks, she was distantly aware that it was beautiful, the rain and gray light making the greens seem brighter, but she was too distracted to enjoy any of it. 

She was so distracted she walked straight into a tree. Rey fell backwards, landing on her bum. She felt the cold mud seep through her leggings and contemplated just staying there on the ground when a voice cut through her misery. 

“Shit, sorry! Are you okay?”

She hadn’t walked into a tree. She’d walked into a veritable refrigerator of a man who was standing over her, looking as thoroughly soaked and tired as she felt. _He’s also very beautiful, her_ weary brain supplied. Rey blinked before realising she should answer him.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she pulled herself into a sitting position as he held out a hand to help her up. His hand engulfed hers as she took it. She immediately missed it’s warmth when he let go. “Well, no, actually. I’m not fine. I’m lost,” Rey looked away as her voice broke. Maybe telling a strange man she was lost and scared was another dumb idea to add to her list of poor choices today, but she was so, so tired.

The man ran a hand down his face, “Yeah, me too,” he sighed. Based on his accent, he was American and clearly not a local who could help her find her way.

“I thought this was supposed to be a 20 kilometer loop,” said Rey, trying not to think about how his hand had felt around hers. 

“Uh, I think this is a longer trail on the way to Carrauntoohil…but I’m quickly losing confidence in that statement...”

Rey felt her face pale, Carrauntoohil wasn’t even in the same park. She had been planning to drive closer to the mountain tomorrow if the weather allowed. She was more lost than she thought. Rey looked around, they were standing in the centre of the trail where it split in three directions. Based on where he was standing, she assumed he came from the path on the right. She looked up at him, watching the way raindrops dripped from where his hair poked out from underneath his hood. He looked honest enough, she felt like she could see entire universes in his brown eyes. Rey shook herself, feeling stupid for such a ridiculous thought, she must be _really_ tired. 

“I’m Ben, Ben Solo.”

“Rey Niima,” she offered what she hoped was a smile, but she was so cold she couldn’t really feel her face anymore. 

“Do you...since I’m lost and you’re lost, shall we continue that way together?” Ben nodded toward the path on the left. 

“As long as you promise not to kill me and bury me in the woods.”

“I don’t have a shovel,” he deadpanned. 

Rey laughed, probably more loudly than his (hopeful) joke called for, the cold was clearly getting to her. “We had better keep going, its going to be dark in a few hours - probably sooner if the weather gets much worse.”

“It’s going to get worse?”

“Um, yes? There's a storm warning starting tomorrow. Its been all over the news - this morning they said there was a hurricane moving across the Atlantic. It sounded like there was a possibility it wouldn’t weaken before it hits Ireland in the morning. Didn’t you check the conditions before you set out?”

“Uh no. I was...distracted…” Ben cleared his throat and looked away. 

Rey tilted her head, she guessed there was a story there, but she didn’t press the matter. Maybe later, if they were both going to die out here, why worry about prying?

“Right, I guess we should…” she gestured to the path ahead.

“Yeah, let's do it. I mean lets go,” the words came out in a rush.

Rey hoped her blush could be chalked up to the cold and not imagining his arms wrapped around her. Even beneath the rain jacket, she could see he was built. 

They walked along the path in silence for a bit before Rey decided to try and break the ice. “So, what are you doing in Ireland? You’re American right?” She inwardly winced at the stupid question, but anything had to be better than nothing. 

“Uh yeah. I’m on vacation. My family has a house near here. Or, well, near the Gap of Dunloe since neither of us know where ‘here’ is.”

Despite the fact that he didn’t ask her the same question, she offered her story, “I live in England, this is my first trip outside of the country. Not the dream holiday I had planned for myself of course,” she gave a weak chuckle. 

“You’ve never left England?”

Rey bristled at the incredulity in his question. “Not everyone has holiday homes, you know. I had to work hard to get here,” she said sharply.

“Sorry, I didn’t...sorry.”

The awkward silence resumed as they continued down the path. Rey could hear the wind howling through the forest canopy, but mercifully they were shielded from the worst of it. More than anything, Rey hated the wind, the way it could cut right through to her bones. The state she was in now, she’d probably start crying if the wind picked up. Rey pulled her hands further into her sleeves, trying to chase any warmth she could. Her feet hurt, her back was tense, and her legs were freezing where the wet mud had gotten into her leggings. She considered asking Ben to stop for a moment, but couldn’t see what good it would do, even her exhausted brain knew they might as well keep going as long as the path continued. It had to end somewhere. Rey hoped they would find somewhere sooner than later, it was starting to get dark.

Eventually, Ben broke the silence. “I think I can see lights in the distance.”

Rey perked up but she couldn’t see anything, he was a good few inches taller than her though, he could probably see farther. “Like, how far in the distance?”

“Hard to say, but it looks like a big building?”

It wasn’t long before Rey could see what he was talking about. “Is...is that a church?”

It was a moment before Ben answered, “this country seems to have no shortage of them.”

There was a venom in his voice Rey didn’t understand. Sure Catholicism had its problems, but a church meant civilisation, which meant they wouldn’t freeze to death in the forest. Rey felt a small burst of energy as they got closer to the building - it was indeed a church, but her hopes of a town were dashed. It was a lone building, it was large, but there was nothing else around it. Like the church had just popped up amongst the trees. Regardless, it was a chance to get dry, get help, and find out where they actually were.

“Come on!” Rey tugged on Ben’s arm and half ran the last 100 metres to the large wooden door. She tried the handle, but it was locked. She could see light shining through the windows though, there had to be people inside. Too tired to be embarrassed, Rey banged heavily on the door. “Hello? We’re lost and looking for help,” she said loudly between knocks. 

Eventually Rey could hear someone pulling the deadbolt back and she stepped back, beaming up at Ben. Her smile faltered when she saw his face, he looked like he was about to be sick. She opened her mouth to ask him if he was alright when the door swung open. 

A small, ancient woman stood before them, wrapped tightly in a bathrobe with her hair hidden beneath a silk wrap, “My goodness, what on earth are you doing out in this weather? Come in, quickly!”

Rey’s shoulders sagged in relief, she went to move but noticed Ben looked frozen to the spot. Her brow furrowed in confusion, worried for a moment he was worse off than she felt. She wasn’t about to leave him though, so she tugged on his arm again, dragging him into the entryway of the church. He moved stiffly, and Rey wondered if he was the type to think entering a church would cause spontaneous combustion. 

The woman shut the door behind them and Rey leaned into Ben. She should probably let go of his arm now that they were both inside, but honestly, she was afraid her legs were going to give out. 

“Mother Superior, what’s going on?” a few more women came into the hallway, nuns, Rey guessed. “Oh you poor dears!” They exclaimed as they took in their exhausted guests and the puddle of rainwater that was forming at their feet. 

“Come through to the kitchen and we’ll get you warm,” the first woman, Mother Superior, ordered. The gaggle of nuns shepherded them into the kitchen, all fussing and concerned with their appearance. It was a cacophonous chorus after spending hours alone, and another quiet few hours with only Ben for company. She couldn’t identify all of their accents, but only one of them seemed Irish. If she had to hazard a guess, she would say Mother Superior was from Kenya. Rey only let go of Ben for the moment it took to take off her backpack and jacket. Looping her arm back into his was easy, like they belonged that way. She told herself he seemed to need it. The color hadn’t returned to his face, he seemed to be holding his breath. 

One of the nuns asked them how they had come to their door. “We got lost, I don’t even know how far we are from where I started.”

“You’ll have to stay here for the night,” another nun said as she forced a cup of hot tea into her hand and another one into Ben’s. 

“We only have one empty room,” said Mother Superior, looking between Rey and Ben. Rey had the distinct feeling that she was being x-rayed. “Are you married?”

 _Right. Catholic Church._ “We’re engaged, surely that close enough?” Rey blurted out the question before she could stop herself. She felt Ben tense and hoped he would go along with her lie, she wanted nothing more than a shower and a warm bed and this seemed like the only way forward.

“Come now, Mother Superior, this is 2017. Don’t make this young man sleep on a pew because they haven’t signed their marriage certificate yet,” cajoled one of the nuns. 

Mother Superior looked over the tired couple once more, “Very well, but I never want to hear you call me stuffy and old-fashioned ever again Sister Mary Clarence.”

“Its a deal!” Sister Mary Clarence beamed at Rey, “follow me, I’ll show you to the room. You both look completely wrecked.”

Ben hadn’t said a word, but followed when Rey stood. She hoped he wasn’t mad, but surely he didn’t want to spend the night on a hard church pew? The nun led them up a narrow staircase to a small room Rey guessed was above the kitchen. 

“This is you, the loo is down the hall, third door on the right. Not private, I’m afraid, but there's a shower. And towels will be in the cupboard.” Sister Mary Clarence opened the door to a small room, she flipped on the light and turned the radiator on before bidding them goodnight. 

Ben hadn’t moved from the doorway, even as Rey dropped her backpack with a wet thump near the warming radiator. She felt her face warm, maybe he was upset that she’d lied about being engaged. 

“Sorry about that, but I was afraid they wouldn’t let us stay if we weren’t married and I didn’t want to go back out into the rain,” she rushed the apology, wondering why he hadn’t yet spoken. He wasn’t even looking at her.

“There’s only one bed.”


	2. The Darkness Hummed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben chewed on his lip. Rey had quietly excused herself to shower, he thought she might have said something or maybe made a joke but he wasn’t really listening. He was in a fucking convent in the backwoods of Ireland. On a “vacation” he didn’t even want to be on. Sharing a tiny room with the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in his whole sorry life. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair.

Ben chewed on his lip. Rey had quietly excused herself to shower, he thought she might have said something or maybe made a joke but he wasn’t really listening. He was in a fucking convent in the backwoods of Ireland. On a “vacation” he didn’t even want to be on. Sharing a tiny room with the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in his whole sorry life. He huffed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Get it together, Solo,” he mumbled. He finally noticed the small puddle accumulating at his feet. “Shit.” The last thing he needed was Rey to come back in and slip and fall. He found the spare towels in the cupboard and took notice of the extra blankets and pillows. At least he could be somewhat comfortable on the floor, once he got out of these wet clothes.  _ Fuck. Clothes. _ He didn’t have any in his bag. This was supposed to be a day trip, he was supposed to be back at the house before dark. Ben groaned aloud. Things were supposed to go right in his life, wasn’t that the whole point of everything he’d given up?

At the very least, he could hang up his rain jacket and leave his wet socks and boots by the radiator. Unless his life had well and truly gone sour, they’d be dry by morning and he could get as far away from this building as possible. There was a soft knock at the door and Ben nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Um, yeah?”

“Its just me,” said Rey opening the door slowly. “I didn’t know if you were, like, changing or something.”

“Right, about that ac-” Ben was pretty sure his brain just short-circuited. Rey wasn’t wearing pants. She had a shirt on and a towel around her waist. Ben blinked and tried to remember how to speak. 

“I didn’t bring spare clothes with me, except, by some miracle, this shirt was dry in the bottom of my bag,” Rey couldn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“I don’t have any dry clothes,” Ben blurted out then winced, “I mean, my shirt stayed sort of dry...but…”

An awkward silence descended as they both looked anywhere but each other. Or the  _ very _ small bed pushed into one corner of the room. 

“I’ll just...go shower. Um, would you mind if I left my clothes on the radiator here, maybe they’ll be dry by the time I get back.”

“Sure, go right ahead,” Rey said a little loudly. Ben didn’t move, then her eyes went wide, “Oh! Yes, I’ll just,” Rey spun around to face the wall, giving him what privacy she could in the tiny room.

Ben pulled the largest towel he could find, took off his shirt and pants ( _ not _ his underwear, which were mercifully dry). He thanked whoever was listening for the invention of merino wool fabrics. 

He didn’t see any of the nuns on his trip to or from the bathroom. He appeared to have some fortune left anyway. But that relief left him when he found himself standing in front of his- _ their _ \- bedroom door. He knocked, giving her the same courtesy she gave him earlier. After a quiet answer, he let himself in quickly. Rey was under the covers already, sitting up, but pressed as far against the wall as she could go. She stared at him for a minute before looking away, Ben thought he could see a blush on her cheeks but it was hard to tell in the dim light. He felt his ears warm anyway. 

Rey cleared her throat, “I, um, checked my clothes a minute ago, they were still pretty wet, I doubt yours are much better off.”

“Uh, right,” Ben checked them anyway, they were still wet of course. He swallowed, suddenly very aware that all he was wearing was a towel. And his underwear. “I’m wearing underwear,” he blurted out. 

Ben watched a blush spread on Rey’s cheeks, probably mirroring his. “Um, yeah me too. Thank god for quick drying merino right?” she laughed nervously. 

“Yeah I’m thinking of writing a letter to the CEO of Allbirds.”

“Oh my god thats right, they make pants now! I lusted after their runners for like a year before I could get a pair.”

Ben felt a small smile twitch at his lips, “they’re pretty great. Some days I wish I could wear them to work.”

“What do you do for work?”

The smile slipped from his face, “Corporate law.” He didn’t elaborate. 

“That must be interesting.” Ben could tell from her face that was a lie. “I just finished my first year working at Land Rover, in engineering.”

“There’s an old 1977 Defender at the house here. The clutch sticks sometimes.”

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t be held responsible for that,” she smiled.

“No, um, no of course.” Ben inwardly cringed at his inability to hold a conversation that didn’t include legal matters. Just for something,  _ anything _ to do with his hands, he checked his clothes on the radiator again. His shirt was pretty much dry (thank you merino sheep), but his pants were a lost cause. Grateful for the first win of the day, he slipped the shirt over his head. 

“I don’t think my pants will be dry before morning,” he said quietly, bringing the awkward subject of them sharing a room tonight back to the surface. 

“They don’t look very comfortable for sleeping anyway,” Rey’s eyes widened and she broke eye contact again. Ben almost smiled, apparently he wasn’t the only one struggling with this conversation. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Ben turned to pull the spare blankets and pillow from the cupboard and laid them out on the floor. The second time he reached, he felt the towel start to slip and his his haste to catch it, he dropped just about everything on the floor. 

“Um, what are you doing?” Rey’s head was cocked to the side, her freckles caught in the soft light of the lamp next to the bed. 

“Making up my bed for the night?”

Rey frowned, “You want to sleep on the floor? You’ll freeze, those stone flagons will drain the heat right out of you.”

“Well, I-”

“We can be adults about this, right?” Rey asked tentatively. “We’ve both had a shitty day, neither of us should have to sleep on a cold stone floor.”

As if to punctuate her point, the wind howled and sheet of rain drops hit the window. 

Ben swallowed, “its a small bed, Rey.”

“The floor is gonna suck, Ben.” She pulled back a corner of the duvet and scooted closer to the wall. 

For the first time, Ben realized this girl might have a stubborn streak that could match his own. 

“Okay, you win,” he sighed, “Just...feel free to kick me out if you change your mind.”

“I promise.” She held the duvet up, and raised her eyebrows. 

Ben took a deep breath and turned off the ceiling light, hung up the towel and got into the bed. He was tense as he laid down next to her, flat on his back. Rey shifted on her side, and tucked her hands under her cheek. She narrowed her eyes and smiled. 

“Your back is going to hurt in the morning unless you let your muscles relax.”

Ben huffed what might have been a laugh, “this is a small bed.”

“I don’t bite.”

An image flashed through his head which he quickly pushed away. He was definitely not going to imagine what it would be like to bite her or be bitten by her. She trusted him enough to share a bed with him and they were in a  _ convent _ for fucks sake. He was going to be a gentleman. 

“I’ll turn off the light, if thats okay,” Ben turned his head to look at her. For a moment, he allowed himself the luxury of tracing the freckles across her nose. Her eyes were so pretty, the way the lamplight highlighted the green in them.

Once the room was dark, it seemed quieter. Ben shifted his head against the pillow, barely able to make out Rey’s form as his eyes adjusted to the new darkness. Sheets of rain continued to hit the window as the wind raged outside. Despite a convent being the worst possible option for him, he was glad that they weren’t out in the storm. 

“Ben?” Rey asked quietly.

“Hmm?”

“I know this day didn’t go to plan for either of us...but I’m glad I’m not alone.”

“Me too.” It was a long time before Ben fell asleep, but it was hard to ignore the feeling of peace that had washed over him. 

***

Ben woke to a particularly fierce gust of wind that rattled the window. It took him a moment to realize why he was so warm. Sometime during the night, he and Rey had moved to the center of the bed; she was tucked against his chest, his arm was resting low on her waist, her leg was tangled between his. Her hair smelled vaguely floral, something he couldn’t put his finger on. For a moment he let himself just be. Rey was warm, she fit into his body like she was made for it. One part of his anatomy was definitely in agreement, Ben swallowed a curse. He carefully extracted himself praying that he wouldn’t wake her, grabbed his now dry pants off the radiator and went down the hall to the bathroom. The hallway was freezing compared to the warmth of the bed he’d just abandoned. But he shouldn’t focus on that. 

When he returned to their room Rey was sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “Good morning, Ben,” she said with a sleepy smile.

“Morning. All of our clothes are dry,” he said, at a loss for anything else to say. 

Rey lifted the curtain and peeked outside, “Ugh, I think its gotten worse out there.” 

“Shit, really?” Ben was hoping to make a quick exit and get as far away from this convent as possible. 

They both jumped at a knock at the door. Ben looked back at Rey before he reached for the handle, she pulled the duvet up around her and nodded. 

It was the same nun who had showed them to their room last night, Sister Mary Something. “Good morning dears, I trust you slept well,” she said brightly. “I realized this morning that you probably didn’t have any essentials with you. Luckily, we keep a few travel sizes on hand, I hope they’ll do,” she passed a small bag into Ben’s hands. “I’m afraid the Met Éireann has issued a Red Warning for Hurricane Ophelia. You should really stay here until the worst of the weather cleared. Breakfast is in 10 minutes if you’d like to join us.” The nun then left. Ben just stared at the closed door, his escape window had just disappeared. 

“Ben? Are you okay?” Rey hadn’t moved from her spot on the bed but she looked worried. 

“Yeah, sorry. I just...don’t like churches…” he ground out. He was not about to burden her with the reason for his discomfort. 

“Oh...sorry I didn’t realize…” she said quietly, as if she should have known, or could have done anything about it. 

“Don’t, don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’ll be able to get back to our usual lives soon enough.” Ben ignored the part of him that lamented the fact that his normal life didn’t include sharing a bed with Rey. 

Silence descended heavily in the room, but Rey broke it soon enough. She was much better at this than him. 

“So whats in the bag?”

“What? Oh, right,” Ben looked into the little brown bag that the nun had given him, “two toothbrushes, some toothpaste, deodorant, and a razor.”

Rey giggled, “I guess nuns aren’t a fan of the scruff.”

“Are you a fan?” the words left Ben’s mouth before he could stop them. 

“I imagine you could pull just about anything off.”

Ben felt the tips of his ears warm, she was flirting with him? “I’m going to go brush my teeth.” He fled the room. He needed to get out of this fucking convent. It was only a matter of time before the nuns realized what he was, and Rey wouldn’t smile at him like that when she found out. 

Rey was standing outside the bathroom door when he opened it. She was dressed in her clothes from yesterday, which were still a little muddy. She must have noticed him looking. 

“Trying to rinse sticky mud out of your clothes in a bathroom sink is not the easiest. Can I have the other toothbrush?” Ben held out the bag for her. “You can go down without me, if you want. You don’t have to wait.”

It had been a long time since Ben considered himself scared of anything, but no way was he about to face a kitchen full of nuns on his own. “No, its okay, I’ll wait in the room for you.”

“Okay,” she smiled brightly, “I’ll just be a minute.”

Their room was brighter when Ben returned, but not by much. Rey had opened the curtains but the sky was so dark with storm clouds it almost looked like the sun hadn’t risen yet. Still, maybe the nun had exaggerated the weather warning, he went to check his phone -  _ his phone.  _ It was on the counter back at the house because of course it was. Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. Surely he was the subject of the biggest cosmic joke he’d ever heard of and it definitely wasn’t funny. 

***

Rey carried most of the conversation during breakfast. Ben gave gruff one-word answers when asked a direct question, but his attention was on the news reports coming from the radio in the background. Every minute it was looking less and less likely that he would be able to leave this morning. Dimly, he was aware he should be paying attention to whatever story Rey had made up about their ‘engagement’ so he could uphold it if necessary. But he still hoped that he’d be able to leave before that became an issue. Maybe the storm would clear enough in the afternoon. He still needed to find out where exactly they were - there had to be a map around here somewhere. 

It was only when the news hour ended and the DJ introduced the upcoming musical segment, that Ben noticed all the nuns had left. “Where is everyone?” he asked cautiously. 

“Wow just how zoned out were you? I told them we’d clean up as a thank you for letting us stay here. Are you finished?’ 

“What?”

“You barely touched your food, are you finished?” Rey asked, nodding her head at his uneaten toast. 

“Oh, uh no. I mean, yes I’m finished,” Ben stood and gathered the rest of the dishes and walked them over to the sink which Rey had started to fill with hot water. 

“I’ll wash if you dry?” Rey looked up at him.

“Yeah, sure,” Ben emptied the food scraps into the trash before handing Rey the plates then moved to her other side to grab a dish towel. He tried not to think about the simple domestic scene they were playing at - he couldn’t remember the last time he did something like this with someone else.  _ Probably because you never have.  _

He decided to fully ignore that realization and tried to find someway to fill the silence. “So I was thinking of leaving this afternoon. I’m going to try and find a map, it shouldn’t take too long to get back to civilization.”

“Haha, very funny.” When Ben didn’t respond, Rey looked up at him, her hands still immersed in the soapy water. “Wait, you’re serious. Didn’t you listen to anything we talked about during breakfast?”

“I was listening to the news.”

Rey sighed and shook her head at him, “Right, there are some things I should catch you up on,” she lowered her voice and leaned into him, “regarding our relationship.” She straightened back up, “And the fact that in no way is it safe to go out in that storm. It’s a hurricane, Ben. A bloody hurricane coming across the Atlantic.”

“We- I can’t just stay here until it passes! I have to get out of here I have shit to do!”

Rey narrowed her eyes and thrust a pan at him a little more forcefully than the last dish she passed. “Well unless dying in the Irish countryside is on your to-do list, you’re stuck here. I’m sorry this is so awful for you,” she snapped.

_ Fuck. _ Ben sighed. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she looked at him expectantly.

He didn’t know what she wanted him to say.

“You can finish the dishes on your own,” she said coldly and left the room before he could say anything else. 

It was only when he put the final plate on the drying rack it occurred to him that he didn’t actually apologize for yelling at her. Or, in her direction, it wasn’t her fault they were stuck here or that he was on edge with every passing second he spent on hallowed ground. 

***

Eventually Ben found Rey tucked away in the small library. She pointedly ignored him until he apologized. 

“Okay,” she said. “Do you want to sit?” She gestured to the chair opposite where she sat. 

Ben sat and stared into the flames that danced in the fireplace. His reverie was broken when Rey asked a question.

“You really don’t like churches, do you?”

For one singular moment, Ben considered telling her everything, but instead he shrugged his shoulders. “Not particularly, no.”

Rey kept the conversation flowing, and he learned more about her life. She had just finished her probationary first year with Land Rover and treated herself to a weeklong trip to Ireland to celebrate getting a “real grown up job with pension benefits and everything.” Ben smiled at how proud she was of herself. It sounded as though she hadn’t had the easiest of starts in life. She’d worked for everything she had. So had he, of course, but from a very different starting point. For better or worse, he’d had several safety nets throughout his life. Ben didn’t think Rey had ever had any.

He occasionally asked a question to keep her talking, he found she was one of the few people he’d ever met that he could listen to for hours on end and never tire of her voice. 

“I’m hoping to move into my own flat in the New Year. I think I’m ready for it now, although living with my friend Rose has been great - she introduced me to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I’ve seen a lot of American foods that just look like, abominable, but PB&Js are amazing. Do you cook?”

“When I can.”

She politely waited for him to elaborate, but when he didn’t she launched into a runthrough of TV shows she’d binged recently now that she’d had some freetime. He didn’t have much to contribute here either, it had been a while since he’d streamed anything - he wasn’t even sure if his Netflix account was still active. 

The rest of the afternoon passed in much the same manner. Rey continued to talk and he was content to listen - more content than he had felt in a very long time. Eventually they were interrupted by Mother Superior. As soon as she entered the room Ben felt his shoulders tense, Ben swore that woman had x-ray vision. 

“Sorry to interrupt dears, but we will be holding our usual Saturday evening mass at half past six if you’d care to join us.”

“No,” Ben said flatly at the same time that Rey said “No, but thank you.” Rey narrowed her eyes at him before looking back to Mother Superior. “We’d be happy to cook dinner though, and have it ready when you all are finished.”

The small woman looked between them but smiled at Rey, “thank you dear, that would be lovely. Help yourselves to whatever is in the kitchen. We don’t have any food allergies, so no worries there. I’ll leave you to it then,” she gave Ben another (slightly disapproving) once over before she left. 

When the door closed Rey reached out and hit Ben’s knee with the book in her hand.

“Ow! What?”

“Could you be a little nicer? They’re letting us stay here for free,” she scolded him with a whisper. 

“I’d happily pay to leave,” he shot back. 

Rey rolled her eyes, “Of course you would, Corporate Lawyer. Come on, Hotshot, we’d better go look at the dinner situation. And I hope you meant it when you said you could cook because I definitely can’t. Unless you count toast.”

Ben did not to think about how his insides felt when Rey called him ‘Hotshot’ and he definitely didn’t think about how good her ass looked in those leggings as he followed her to the kitchen. 

They managed to make it through dinner without another squabble, and Ben actually made an effort to listen to the conversation and not the news on the radio. He let Rey do most of the heavy lifting and tried not to choke when Rey announced they were going to spend a month traveling around New Zealand for their honeymoon. She patted his back sweetly, but he noticed the mischief in her eyes as she turned back to the nuns and explained what their wedding was going to be like in astonishing detail. 

Ben watched her as he imagined it all - and didn’t hate it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops this turned out softer than I had intended - I keep going back and forth on how long this is going to be so please bear with me ://
> 
> come say hi on twitter and yell at me to work on my dissertation @alderaanbby


	3. Be Good to Me

Rey was startled awake by a particularly fowl gust of wind battering against the convent walls. Ben didn’t wake at her movement, not really. He smoothed a hand over her head and pulled her closer with a quiet mumble. Not for the first time, she was grateful she’d run into Ben on the trail. She could have easily stayed lost on her own, or he could have been a creep, or a murderer. But instead the universe threw her a 6’2” grump who she suspected was secretly soft. Rey smiled into his chest. She couldn’t see the clock, but she guessed they were still a few hours away from sunrise. Where her skin wasn’t covered by the duvet or Ben, she could feel the chill in the room. She was always cold, and convent was poorly insulated but thankfully she was sharing a bed with her own personal heater. Rey snuggled deeper into Ben and let the steady movement of his breathing lull her back to sleep. 

***

A lull in the breakfast conversation let Rey catch the end of the weather report on the radio.

> “Outlook for the week is not good. A Red Storm Warning is in effect for at least the next 48 hours, and is likely to be extended. Flood warnings and travel advisories are in effect across the country. That’s all from the weather desk, stay home and stay safe! The time is 4 minutes past 9.” 

Rey looked over at Ben when the ad break began. He was glaring at the radio as if through sheer will he could make it report better news.  _ To be fair, that intense stare probably gets him what he wants usually,  _ Rey thought. 

“It sounds like you two will be with us for a few more days at least!” said Sister Mary Patrick, breaking Rey from the decidedly not church-appropriate scene she about to spiral into. 

Ben didn’t appear to have heard, so as was becoming usual, Rey jumped in. “We’re so grateful to you for putting up with us. We can’t thank you enough!” she stood and started to gather the used dishes. As ever, the nuns tried to swat her away, but Rey insisted. Cooking and tidying up the kitchen was the least they could do in exchange for somewhere warm and dry to sleep. Ben mechanically stood to help Rey and went to start on the pot he’d used for oatmeal earlier (overnight oats, naturally). Eventually the nuns filtered out of the kitchen to do whatever it was a nun did to fill their day. Over the last few meals they’d shared with the nuns, Rey noticed that the tension in Ben’s shoulders would ease when they were left alone to clean up. But not this morning. She watched him scrub the pots and pans furiously as if they had insulted him personally. 

“Ben?” she asked tentatively.

“Do you have your phone?” he asked without turning. 

“Yes, but it died before we even met. I’m not even sure charging it would help now, the thing is waterlogged.” She knew he didn’t particularly like churches, but there was a vein popping in his neck now. “Ben?”

“I need to get out of here.” His hands were planted on the counter, dripping soapy water

“We can’t, its too dangerous, we’ll leave as soon as the storm clears” she cautiously put a hand between his shoulderblades. “Okay?” she didn’t know when they became a ‘we’ but she hoped he felt the same. He twitched but then let out a breath and nodded. Despite his agreement, the rest of the dishes were done in silence. 

***

There wasn’t a lot to do in a rural convent during a biblical autumn storm, as it turned out. Usually, patience came easily for Rey, she was used to waiting. But now? Now she was antsy, after trying and failing to read several ancient magazines and turned down Sister Mary Patrick’s offer of a knitting lesson. No one was particularly hungry for lunch, so Rey just put out a plate of whatever crackers and cheese she found. She had passed off Ben’s absence and tetchy mood as cabin fever. But she missed the look that passed between the nuns. Instead, Rey wandered through the convent trying to find Ben. He had disappeared after they finished the dishes and she hadn’t seen him since. Truthfully, she was starting to get worried. What if he had left her? No, no he wouldn’t, it was too dangerous to go out and he wouldn’t leave her alone here.  _ Why not? He clearly hates it here and Its not as if he owes you anything _ whispered the poisonous voice in the back of her head. Rey shook herself, refusing to let those thoughts get the better of her. 

She eventually found Ben standing in the open doorway of the church. The same door they had come through two nights ago. The storm was still raging, but he was standing under the porch, which kept the worst of the rain away. She approached him quietly and stood by him for a moment trying to find the right words to bring him out of his sour mood. 

“The longest I’ve gone without sleep was four days. My senior project in university. I was working two jobs to pay tuition and rent. I lost my scholarship when the school found out that my foster parent lied about their income; like I had the option of using his money anyway,” she let disdain drip into her voice before continuing.

“So I worked early mornings at a cafe near campus and nights at junkyard salvaging cars. For my final project I wanted to create a baseline for adapting older cars to modern technology in a more seamless manner. I prefer the aesthetic of a lot of older cars, but they’re not the most environmentally friendly, you know. But neither is building millions of cars every year, so I wanted a way to bypass that. Probably a bigger project than was required for the completion of masters degree but I was determined. I also had no time to work on it between jobs and classes, then the other person who worked at the junkyard quit and I had to cover their shifts - hence the final week was a whirlwind of caffeine and more caffeine. I had to have my friends proofread everything for me because by the fourth night I was hallucinating - well not like visual hallucinations but I could hear ‘La Cucaracha’ playing on repeat. Still got an A though.” Rey finally looked over at Ben, who was staring at her with a bemused look. She decided her mission while they were stuck here was to get a real, full blown smile out of Ben Solo. She knew his dimples would be to die for, she just knew it. 

“Whats the longest you’ve gone without sleep?” 

“Probably while studying for the Bar, but I doubt it was more than four days.” He was looking at her with a look she couldn’t decipher, but she couldn’t find it in her to look away.

“What are you doing out here, anyway?”

Ben looked back out at the rain, “I just needed some space.”

“Oh, sorry.” The happiness she felt a moment ago vanished as she turned and left. Rey peaked back at him before she turned the corner, his back was still to her, his head tilted up to the sky. She’d never met anyone like him. There he was standing so still he could be mistaken for a statue and yet his presence was all she could feel. If only he’d loosen up a bit.

She made her way back to the parlor and learned how to knit with Sister Mary Patrick. Turns out she made little sweaters or blankets for children who were abandoned at fire stations or hospitals or whatever. Rey teared up when the nuns talked about the previous things they’d made for the babies, but thankfully no one pressed her about it. Although they would probably know the exact right words to say, Rey didn’t really talk about her past with anyone. Even her oldest friend, Finn, didn’t know the whole story. 

***

While the nuns were at their nightly mass, Ben found Rey in the library. Again, she tried to draw him out with stories of her (albeit few) escapades at university or talking about her job, but she was met with simple answers. Frustrated, she tried a more direct approach. 

“You said you were in corporate law, any businesses I would have heard of?”

“I can’t discuss clients.”

Rey held back an irritated huff, why was he making this so difficult? “Do you get much time off? Now that my probationary year at Land Rover is complete, I get two weeks a year, but honestly I almost didn’t take them. I’ve never not worked, it feels weird to be on holiday.” She didn’t mention the years of food insecurity made it impossible to take time off, but he looked at her like maybe he knew anyway. “Ben?” she prompted when he didn’t answer. 

“I’ve accumulated a lot over the last few years I guess, never counted them though,” he gave a noncommittal shrug.

She wanted to throw something at him, all she wanted was a little elaboration, a little insight into who her new roommate was. But instead she just stood up, “We should get dinner ready,” she sighed. 

***

The next day went much the same as the previous two. Ben was getting visibility more upset at their predicament. He kept rubbing at his chest, Rey wasn’t even sure he was aware he was doing it. After one gruff response after breakfast, Rey gave up trying to engage him in conversation, he clearly didn’t want it. Then he was downright rude at dinner when Mother Superior asked about his family home. Then left Rey standing in shock when he walked out of the kitchen before dinner was over. She apologized profusely, but Mother Superior didn’t seem phased by it. 

“He’ll come around dear, once he realizes the belonging he seeks is ahead,” she patted Rey’s hand sagely and went to join the nuns in watching The Late Late Show. 

Rey didn’t know what in the world that was supposed to mean, but she was fully annoyed now. No, she was angry. All she’d done since they arrived was try to make the best of this situation, the nuns had been nothing but generous, and Ben was acting like a petulant child and she was done. 

***

Rey shifted the book in her lap and looked at the clock on the nightstand, it was getting late, he’d be in any minute. As if summoned by her thoughts, she heard his footsteps followed by a soft knock. She didn’t answer. 

“Rey?” he asked softly, cracking the door open. 

“You can come in.”

She heard him come in and close the door. She kept her eyes trained on the page in front of her. The page she hadn’t yet managed to read. 

“Rey, are you…”

“Am I what, Ben?” she asked flatly, looking up at him before she could stop herself. His shoulders were hunched like he was trying to make himself smaller, but his hands were fidgeting like he was struggling to stand still. 

He looked her over for a moment. “I- you used to talk more.”

“You barely said anything back. This is me getting the message,” Rey could feel the back of her throat burn and looked back down at the book so he couldn’t see the tears form in her eyes.

He didn’t say anything, and Rey didn’t know if that made her feel better or worse. As soon as he left to go brush his teeth Rey reached over and turned off the bedside lamp. For the first time, she turned to face the wall and didn’t stir when he came back into the room. As he settled wordlessly into their shared bed, Rey let one tear hit the pillow under her cheek before she buried her emotions. 

***

Rey had not had a good night. She woke feeling stiff from forcing herself to stay pressed against the wall, as far from Ben as she could get. There was a sour taste in her mouth that went beyond the usual morning breath. The last three mornings she had woken up wrapped in Ben’s arms and despite the fact that he was a near stranger, she’d never felt safer in her life. But even so, she deserved more than single syllables and rudeness. It had taken Rey a while to realize that, but she knew it now, and wouldn’t give up her worth for anyone. Even if they looked like they were carved from marble. She knew without turning that Ben wasn’t in the room, so she sat up, struggling against the duvet for a moment. His side of the bed was cold, but when Rey looked at the way the blanket was wrapped around her, confusion rolled through her mind. He had...tucked her in? He couldn’t manage more than a sentence when she asked him a direct question, but he tucked her in after he got up?  _ What the fuck?  _

It was nearly lunchtime before she found him. Apparently Mother Superior had sent him to the greenhouse to pick whatever vegetables were left. Rey had to fight against the wind to open the back door and it nearly slammed in her face as a gust of wind sent a sheet of rain toward her. Through the haze, she saw the greenhouse and a large shadowy figure kneeling down inside. She watched him move about for a minute trying to decide if she was going over there. She couldn’t get a read on him, and they were supposed to be faking an engagement. At the very least, people pretending to be a lovesick young couple should have conversations in order maintain their story. She didn’t even know what his favorite food was for fuck’s sake (she told him yesterday hers was the banh mi she ate with Rose every Friday after work on their tiny little balcony). Ben had grown more agitated every day, but this morning he tucked the blankets around her to make sure she stayed warm in their drafty room. 

She couldn’t figure it out, but if the report this morning she heard about widespread flooding was any indication, they’d be stuck together at the convent for a few more days at least. She was sure the dirt trails back to civilisation were just muddy rivers and who knew when they’d dry out enough to traverse. With a mumbled  _ fuck it _ , Rey threw her hood up and ran over to the greenhouse, it was time they had a frank discussion and she wasn’t going to accept anything less this time. 

Ben looked up when she opened the door, he was knelt down picking strawberries which looked comically small in his hands. For one heartbeat, two, they just stared at each other. Then Rey broke the silence. 

“You weren’t at breakfast this morning.”

He stood and turned away from her, focusing instead on a sad looking tomato plant. “I wasn’t hungry.”

Rey huffed and folded her arms, “Bollocks. You’ve been hiding. I know you don’t like churches, but the nuns are  _ nice _ , Ben. They’ve been nothing but generous with us and you’ve been acting like this is the worst thing thats ever happened.”

He spun to face her, his eyes darker than she’d ever seen them, “You don’t know anything about me.” He was towering over her now, the greenhouse felt smaller than it did when she first walked in, but Rey refused to back down. 

“And who’s stupid fault is that?” she poked his chest. “For days I’ve been trying to keep some amount of conversation going with no help from you. Our fake engagement is the only thing keeping a roof over our heads right now but instead you’ve committed to this Byronic hero persona, and you know what, I’m sick of it!”

“I’m the bad guy because I refuse to talk incessantly about inane things? I didn’t ask for any of this, Rey! If any of those nuns believe we’re an actual couple I’ll write them a check for $10,000. They’re not stupid, in what universe are we together, huh? We don’t fit, I mean look at you, so stop lying to everyone. Stop trying to be nice, I don’t want it, any of it!”

Rey took half a step back, there was an ugly feeling rising in her stomach, wherever she thought this fight would end, she never thought it would be here. He didn’t just hate churches, he hated her too. So much that even pretending to be with her was abhorrent to him. That rejection stung more deeply than she cared to admit. 

Ben turned to lean on one of the planting tables, one hand rubbing his chest. “Just, stay away from me. It’ll be better that way,” he said quietly. 

“I didn’t realize how awful it was to be my fake fiance,” she had intended there to be venom behind her words, but her voice shook instead “I’ll leave you alone.” She turned and left, grateful that the rain pelting her face blended with the tears. 

Once she was out of eyeshot of the greenhouse, Rey ran. The mud splashed up her legs and the wind tore through her jacket, but she couldn’t stop. A fierce gust of wind pushed her hood back, and even as she felt rain drip down her neck, she kept running. Ben’s eyes swam in front of hers, the anger behind them. Had it really been that awful pretending to be in a relationship with her? They’d only known each other for four days but he looked at her with such disdain.  _ We don’t fit _ . He was right of course, he was clearly upper class, a top American lawyer from a good, moneyed family and who was she? She was no one. Her last name wasn’t even hers. Rey’s eyes filled with tears faster than she could wipe them away, she was at the edge of the property now. Nearly as soaked as she had been when they knocked on the door of the convent. 

She couldn’t go back inside, not without one of the nuns catching sight of her. She still suspected Mother Superior could read minds, and explaining their fight meant explaining their lies. No, she had to be alone until she could get her emotions in check. 

So into the forest she went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Fun fact: when i'm sleep deprived (usually after like 30hrs hours of travel) I hear La Cucaracha playing - it wasn't until the second time I realized it was only playing inside my head
> 
> come yell at me for spending too much time on twitter! @alderaanbby


	4. Into the Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we finally learn what the heck is up on with Ben

Ben lingered in the garden far longer than necessary. He collected the last of the vegetables from the greenhouse and even wandered through two more greenhouses that were largely abandoned, filled only with sad, forgotten stalks interspersed with weeds. But it was safer here. Away from the prying eyes of Mother Superior, away from the hurt look in Rey’s eyes. 

His bottom lip was chapped and raw where he had been chewing at it. He hated that he had upset Rey. It wasn’t her fault she was trapped here with him. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but that was the problem. He was the problem. He was falling fast and hard for Rey. But she deserved so much more than him. She deserved a good man, and Ben hadn’t been good in a very long time. This morning when he woke up to find her still pressed up against the wall, he missed her. Despite the constant unease in his chest at being in a convent, sleeping next to her brought him a peace he’d never experienced before. A peace he had given up all rights to. Ben absently rubbed his chest, the hollowness beneath his ribs he’d never paid much attention to thrummed loudly now. It had been since the moment Rey bumped into him in the forest. He’d lost something the second she smiled at him. Or maybe gained it back? Either way, it felt like his world had shifted on its axis. 

Ben had spent the last 10 years making his clients (and himself) richer. He was good at corporate law, he’d flattened more class action suits, disgruntled employees, and intellectual property claims than any other lawyer in his firm – possibly in the US. He could strip the most powerful union boss of their case without breaking a sweat and leave thousands with reduced benefits without even a twinge of guilt. The partners at his firm had actually framed his first death threat and gifted it to him at his first promotion. He’d become an object of fear and loathing. All made possible through a deal he made in his final year of law school. 

___________________________________________

_Ben sighed heavily as his back cracked against the chair. He glanced at the clock, 01:00 AM. Technically this section of the library closed an hour ago. But at this table, tucked far away from anyone else, Ben had gone unnoticed by anyone, even the all-seeing gaze of the Librocop. Thankfully he’d be able to exit through the 24/7 section without raising any suspicions. They set up a plexiglass barrier at the entrance each night, but completely ignored the fact that the wall separating the sections was barely 4ft tall. Tall enough to ensure most people played by the rules, but short enough that it was easy to hop for a determined soul._

_It was quiet tonight, possibly too quiet considering that finals were right around the corner. It had been hours since Ben had even heard another person shuffling through the shelves. Or crying. Crying was fairly commonplace at the Law Library in late May. Between finals and the July Bar Exam, you could count on seeing at least one person sobbing into their keyboard. Ben himself felt pretty close to crying, but his eyes were so itchy and dry he didn’t think it was possible. He rubbed his eyes, and tried to decide if he wanted to move on to the next section of exam prep or go home and pass out for a few hours. When he opened his eyes and found he couldn't focus properly on the small text, he decided to throw in the towel for the night. After another satisfying crack in his spine, Ben shoved all his books and computer into his bag and stood to leave when the lights flickered._

“ _Really?”_ _he said to the empty space. His phone had about 4% battery left which would dwindle rapidly if he had to use the flashlight to find his way out and back to his car._

_The lights flickered once more before going out completely._

_“Fuck me,” he sighed._

_The lights came back on and Ben swore again, louder this time. There was a man standing 6ft away from him._

_“Sorry man, you startled me. You know the library is closed though.” Ben couldn’t put his finger on exactly why, but there was something eerily off putting about this guy. He was startling pale, which provided a sharp contrast against what looked like a very expensive, all-black suit._

_“I’m aware. Just as I am aware of you, Benjamin Organa Solo,” the man’s voice was quiet, smooth like it was coated in oil._

_“Uh, what? Is this…” Ben looked around, kind of hoping to see one of his buddies hiding in the stacks. “Is this some kind of joke? Look, its hilarious, very scary, but I’m exhausted and I have to be back here in a couple hours, can we move it along please.” Ben’s palms were starting to sweat, it wasn’t unusual for Poe to pull this kind of immature bullshit, but there was a nagging feeling in his gut that whatever this was, Poe wasn’t responsible._

_“No joke, Mr. Solo. I’m here because you need my help.”_

_“I really don’t think so.”_

_“You are studying law, yes? You dream of becoming a great lawyer, perhaps finally garnering the attention you so crave from your parents.”_

_Ben swallowed, this was getting weirder by the second, and maybe he was imagining it, but the room felt a lot colder than it did five minutes ago. Who the fuck was this guy? Even Poe would know not to push that particular button._

_“I’m sorry to tell you, on your current course, you will not be successful. You lack your mother’s grace under pressure. She can command the Senate Chamber with an unpracticed ease that is out of your reach. You lack your father’s easy charisma. He is able to talk his way out of any predicament. You, on the other hand, would not be able to convince a single member of the jury to vote your way.”_

_Ben was rooted to the spot. Except for the man’s voice, the room was deadly still. The constant hum of the HVAC system was gone, the ticking of the clock, silenced. A cold sweat trickled down Ben’s back, causing him to shiver._

_“Who are you?” he asked, mercifully his voice held steady despite the fear rising in his belly._

_“I have many names, my boy. But that is not the question you should be asking.”_

_Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, the only emotional tell he had yet to kick. “You said you could help me, why?”_

_The man smiled, or rather, a smile appeared on his pale face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I have something you need. You have something I want. I can make you the most successful lawyer in a generation, every case will fall exactly the way you want it. You will be a force to be reckoned with, a worthy son to the Skywalker legacy.”_

_Another drop of sweat trickled down Ben’s back, he had a bad feeling about this, but asked the question anyway. “And the price?”_

_“Your heart.”_

_Ben’s feet finally became unglued and he took a step back._

_The man let out a sinister laugh, “No need to look so frightened. Physically, you will continue to live a normal human life.”_

_This was getting too fucking weird, he had to be dreaming. He’d wake up any second now, drooling on his case study notes. “Why?”_

_“I’m a collector. Your heart meets my criteria. Think it over. I’ll be back at 10 minutes past midnight on Friday.”_

_The lights flickered again and Ben was alone. Friday was the 13th._

___________________________________________

When he couldn’t put it off any longer, Ben went back into the convent. He was just about to start washing the vegetables when Mother Superior came in with a concerned look written across her wizened face. 

“Where’s Rey?”

“I haven’t seen her for hours, I assumed she was in here,” said Ben, hoping that the guilt of their last interaction wasn’t written across his face. 

“Last anyone saw her she was headed to the gardens,” Mother Superior looked over Ben with an intensity he had yet to witness even from the most formidable judges he had come up against. Again he was left with the unsettling feeling that she could read minds. 

“She’s probably in our room, I’ll go check on her.” Ben didn’t know what possessed him to make such an offer. It was unlikely Rey would want to see him after how he had spoken to her earlier. He knew he’d been cruel, but for her to disappear like this? He couldn’t admit to even himself the worry that was building in his gut. He climbed the stairs two at a time and knocked on their shared door before he could talk himself out of it. 

“Rey?” he said softly against the closed door. No answer. “Rey, the nuns are worried about you, they sent me up here to check on you.” _Lie._ Still no answer. He wiped his hands on his pants, trying to ignore the way they trembled ever so slightly. She must be really upset. Bracing himself, he slowly opened the door, waiting for her to yell at him. To tell him to piss off and leave her alone, but the words never came. The door was wide open, and the room was empty. 

“Rey?” She wasn’t here. The room looked exactly the same as he had left it this morning, except there was no Rey in their bed. A quick scan told him her bag was still here, and with a sigh of relief he realized she hadn’t left him. _She should_. 

Ben shook that voice away. Her stuff was still here, but no one had seen her in hours. A crack of lightning lit the room, then a rumble of thunder sounded in the distance. He had a bad feeling about this. 

He went back downstairs, hoping against hope that Rey would be in the kitchen with the nuns. Even if she was pointedly ignoring him, he needed to see her. 

But the kitchen contained only nuns. Worried looking nuns. Another flash of lightning lit up the darkening sky as rain battered the small kitchen windows. 

“She’s not here.” Thunder rumbled above the kitchen, drowning out the useless weather update on the radio. Ben’s chest felt more hollow that usual, it ached now in a way he’d never felt before. “I have to find her,” he said, more to himself than anyone else. 

“I’ll be dark soon, I’ll get you a flashlight,” Mother Superior went to a cupboard near the back door. 

It was as if her movement was the catalyst the nuns were waiting for, the other women burst into a frenzy of questions and activity.

“Is your coat warm enough?”

“What about gloves, do you need gloves?”

“An umbrella?”

“Its too windy for an umbrella!”

“You should take some food, just in case.”

“You should take some whiskey, just in case.”

Ben could hardly process the amount of information and questions thrown his way before Mother Superior appeared at his elbow with his jacket and a large flashlight. 

“Be quick, be careful. Our prayers go with you,” her face was set, as if there was no option for him to return without her. A rumble of thunder served as punctuation for the sentence.

___________________________________________

The skies seemed to have darkened since he’d left the greenhouses, which almost felt like hours ago; back when his only concern was that he had upset Rey. Now he was painfully conscious of the fact that if any misfortune had befallen her, it would be solely his fault. Thankfully it was still light enough that he was able to spot her footprints leading away from the greenhouses. For once in this cursed week, all the rain and mud had actually helped him. He looked up at the sky as a rumble of thunder was followed with a particularly nasty gust of wind. He followed the trail Rey had left behind, and hoped that maybe he’d be able to find her before it got properly dark. That minor spark of relief was doused when he realised where her footprints were headed. 

_She went into the forest._

_She ran into a dark, dangerous forest in the middle of a hurricane because you were cruel to her._

_This is who you are._

Ben swallowed and followed Rey into the forest. Under the dense canopy, the rain didn’t pelt him, but the air seemed all the more sinister. It was already darker, but he didn’t remember the forest seeming quite this creepy when they came through it the first time. The branches seemed to reach for him, ready to tear at his clothes and keep him trapped beneath their boughs. He shivered and continued along the path that was still marked with Rey’s footprints. He would find her, and they’d both get out of here. 

“Rey?” he called loudly, “Rey! We need to go back, the storm is getting worse! Rey?” Nothing but the eerie silence of the rainsoaked forest. 

He kept walking, periodically yelling her name until his stomach dropped. Her footprints faded out to nothing. The path he was on was narrowing, there were now several offshoots, deer trails, really. She could have gone in any direction, and Ben had no idea which way to go. The forest seemed to close in on him at this realization.

“Fuck,” he cursed loudly and dragged a hand down his face. _This is your fault. If anything happens to her, if she’s hurt – you did this. Just like you hurt everyone else._ Ben pushed the thought away and refused to acknowledge the growing ache in his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt unease like this. Rey was alone in the backwoods of Ireland during the worst storm in living memory because he said awful, callous things to her. And he felt...guilty. He’d helped a giant conglomerate get out of paying their workers’ healthcare costs and he hadn’t felt a thing – but now, now all he could feel was wracking guilt. 

___________________________________________

 _Ben’s leg bounced nervously. He glanced at the clock for the millionth time since settling down at his hidden table in the back of the law library. 12:09 AM_ . _He honestly didn’t know what he was doing here. He still wasn’t entirely sure that his conversation last week wasn’t an elaborate stress-driven hallucination. But the man said he could ensure Ben’s success, that he’d finally be worthy of his family’s legacy. So here Ben was, sitting in the back of the library at midnight on Friday the 13th. Unable to sit still anymore, Ben stood and started to pace between the stacks, then the lights flickered and went out. He stood stock still until they flickered back on, but only half the ceiling lights were on this time. It cast an eerie shadow across the room as Ben turned, stopping when he saw the man standing over the desk he’d just vacated._

_“Are you ready for the Bar Exam?” the man asked, picking delicately through Ben’s notebook._

_“Yes,” Ben said, his voice not as confident as he wanted it to be._

_“Hm,” the man looked up and narrowed his eyes, looking Ben over. “Have you had time to consider my offer?”_

_“You said you wanted my heart for your collection. But where does that leave me? What are the consequences?”_

_The man let out what could have been an amused chuckle. “I believe I already confirmed you would survive the transfer. You want to be a great lawyer, yes? Finally worthy of the legacy your bloodline demands. How do you expect to get there with a heart like yours? You have an impressive trust-fund, Mr. Solo, and yet you throw away money on charity. You’ve spent four weekends this semester helping your elderly neighbor with household chores rather than at your studies or building a name for yourself at networking events. How do you expect to be a great man if you waste your time with every cause that tugs on your heartstrings?”_

_Ben furrowed his brow, was that his problem? He cared too much?_

_“Your weakness is holding you back, Mr. Solo. I can help free you of that burden, so you can finally grow to your full potential. You are destined for greatness, young Mr. Solo, but you will never reach it like this. Take my help and you will be the most successful lawyer this country has ever seen. That is the consequence of your acceptance. I take your heart, and you take what is rightfully yours. Do we have an accord?”_

_Ben studied the man for a moment. His suit was immaculate, there was an aura around him that defied explanation, but Ben believed him. He saw the future he’d always wanted, that he could be worthy of his grandfather’s legacy, that he could finally make his family see him._

_“Yes.”_

___________________________________________

Ben shook himself, now was not the time to fall apart. He had to find Rey and get her back to the warmth and safety of the convent. He pushed his emotions away and dipped back into the cold logic of Ben Solo, Attorney at Law. “Just pick a trail. If it isn’t the one, go down the next one.” Reason dictated that he should start with the trail on his right and then methodically work his way around until the last one on the left, but his eyes were drawn back to the second trail from the left. 

Even if he was under oath, he couldn’t say what made him choose that path. There were no footprints, no bent plants, no clear sign that Rey had gone that way, but _something_ pushed him in that direction. He knew she was somewhere along that trail, if only he could catch up. Without waiting another second, he followed her. 

It got darker has he followed the narrow trail deeper into the forest, low branches kept catching on his hood until eventually he gave up trying to keep it on. The canopy was thick enough that the rain had almost stopped falling, just occasionally droplets from the trees as they swayed in the wind. There was a growing sound in the distance though, it almost sounded like wind, or maybe there was a clearing where the rain was falling in full force. He continued to call for Rey, somehow knowing that she wouldn’t answer, that he wasn’t there yet, but he yelled her name anyway. 

A hundred yards later, the dull hum of noise became a roar and he could see parts of a waterfall through the gaps in the low tree branches. The trail would end at the waterfall, he’d find Rey sitting there. Probably still angry with him, but he’d get her back to the convent where he could tell her – not the truth, but he’d apologize, he owed her that at least. 

“Rey!” Ben hurried the last of the distance, as fast as he could go between the narrowing branches. “Rey?” When he finally cleared the last tangle of branches and fallen boughs, the world stopped turning. 

Rey was there. At the base of the waterfall. But she was lying down, facing him with closed eyes. Her head was resting on a rock, which was darkened with a puddle that looked sickenly like blood. 

For the first time in many years, Ben Solo, the most successful and most feared lawyer on the Eastern Seaboard, was scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!! Thank you for sticking with me! I really like this story (so much so that its already grown past my originally planned 4 chapters)  
> I'm in the last leg of getting my masters degree and that has been eating up pretty much all of my time :( but once I get the stupid thing turned in, its fic for all a ya'll
> 
> I'm pretty much in dissertation exile, but post at least 1 sneak peek a week on twitter @alderaanbby


	5. I Saw New Eyes

Rey knew she was being carried, everything was vague and fuzzy, but someone had her cradled against them as they moved. The world was shifting steadily and she wanted to open her eyes to look but they weren’t cooperating. She couldn’t remember falling asleep or where she was, but the steady thud of their heartbeat against her ear kept her calm. Whoever it was smelled nice, warm – the way Ben smelled. She hoped it was Ben before everything faded to black again. 

Some indeterminate amount of time later there was a sudden rush of noise. When she turned deeper into whoever was holding her the world fell away again. 

The third time Rey woke, her head felt clearer. After blinking a couple times to let her eyes adjust, she saw the familiar wall of the bedroom at the convent. The curtains were drawn, but the storm raged outside, rain lashed against the stone walls, which made Rey all the more grateful she was safe and cozy inside.  _ Wait – how did I get back here?  _ Rey went to push herself up, but pain shot through her right arm. She hissed and looked down to find it had been bandaged in clean white gauze. 

“Rey?”

She turned to find Ben sitting in a chair next to the bed. He was paler than usual and his clothes were rumpled. 

“How do you feel?” he asked quietly. One of his hands moved, like he wanted to reach for her but he stopped himself. She didn’t know if she was relieved or disappointed.

“My arm…I don’t remember...” her voice was slightly gravely from disuse. 

A pained expression passed over his face. “There’s a cut, not that deep but it was still bleeding when I found you. What do you remember?”

“After the gr–” she looked down at her hands, not wanting him to see the tears forming in her eyes at the memory, “after the greenhouse I went for a walk. I found a waterfall at the end of a trail, the rocks near the base of it were slippery with moss. I guess I lost my footing.” She swallowed and looked back up at him. “Did you carry me back here?”

“Yes.” 

Rey couldn’t read the look behind his eyes. 

He cleared his throat and stood. “The nuns will want to know that you’re awake. Um, do you need anything while I’m down there?”

“No.”

He nodded, and looked like he wanted to maybe say something else, but turned towards the door instead. 

“Wait, how long was I out?”

There was a long beat of silence before he answered, without looking at her. “You were in the forest for at least seven hours. We got back here two hours ago. I don’t know how long you were–Mother Superior is a registered nurse, she checked you over.”

_ Was that a tremble in his voice? _

He made it two more steps to the door before Rey blurted out another question, “What time is it?” She could have looked at the clock next to the bed, but no, she asked him. Like she didn’t want him to leave the room. 

“Its 10pm. You were pretty wet from the rain, I um...changed your clothes. I couldn’t really tell the nuns why it would be inappropriate for me to see my fiance naked.”

Rey looked down and saw she was wearing Ben’s shirt, the one he was wearing when they met. From before they had both been gifted spares by the nuns. She was also wearing his merino boxers. 

“They’re clean, and um they were warm from the radiator. I didn’t like...look, but your clothes were soaked through.” Ben shoved his hands in his pockets, but kept his eyes on her face. It was hard to tell in the dim lighting, but she thought he might be blushing. 

“Thats– thank you. I’d, um hate for you to wake up the nuns on my behalf. Could you just stay?” Rey asked quietly. She was pretty sure she was still mad at him, but she didn’t want him to leave yet. 

“Yeah, I’ll stay.” He went back to the wooden chair by the bed, but Rey scooted over in bed and looked at him expectantly. 

Ben swallowed, looking unsure, but he sat down, parallel to her, on top of the covers. They sat in silence for a minute while Ben rubbed at his chest absentmindedly. 

“Thank you for coming to get me.”

“It was my fault. Those things I said, Rey–” 

“Its ok–”

“No,” he turned to look at her, “No, it wasn’t okay. When I said we didn’t fit, I meant that no one would believe someone like you, so charming and beautiful would agree to marry me. I’m sorry for hurting you. I tend to do that. I’m afraid I’m quite good at it. I knew it would hurt you and I said it anyway.”

Rey looked up at him, the warm light from the bedside lamp highlighted the golden tones in his eyes. Eyes that were desperately searching hers. 

“Why  _ did _ you say it?” 

Ben chewed on the inside of his lower lip and looked down at his lap where his hands were fidgeting. “I’m...I’m going to tell you something and I promise its the truth. Even if it doesn’t sound like it.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Rey reached over to still Ben’s hands. “Ben,” she said softly, “why did you say it?”

Ben took a deep breath and told her about that night in the library–he told her about the mysterious ghoul that was probably some kind of demon, he told her about the deal he made and the life he chose because of it. 

“I’m not a good man, Rey. I’m sure a lot of people think about corporate lawyers in a certain light, but whatever you’ve imagined, I assure you I’ve done worse. The company I represent is First Order Industries.”

Rey’s breath hitched and Ben looked down at his lap. Not that she was particularly well versed in business news, but  _ everyone _ knew First Order’s reputation for screwing their workers and pumping money into the pockets of soulless politicians so they could further their own interests. The CEO, Alastair Snoke, was probably the most hated man in America. 

“So you’ve heard of them?” It was a bad attempt at a joke, the light was gone from his eyes. 

“Yeah, I’ve heard of them. The case last year about worker’s comp? That was you?”

“Yes. That particular case bought me a new Aston Martin Vanquish. I’ve made a lot of money by ruining peoples’ lives. That's why we don’t fit. You deserve more, Rey. You deserve someone who actually has a heart. That's why I said it.” 

“Ben, you  _ have a heart _ , just bec–”

“Rey, I told you the truth,” he cut her off, “I knew you wouldn’t believe it, who would– but it happened.”

“I believe you,” she said quickly, “I believe you. But you  _ do have a heart _ . I heard it, when you were carrying me.”

“Rey…”

“I heard it, Ben. It calmed me down when I didn’t know what was happening. I heard it, thumping away right there in your chest.” Rey scooted herself around so she was facing him then reached out to his chest. The worn fabric of the shirt the nuns had found for him was soft under her fingers, but thin enough that she could feel the warm radiating from him. Even after the hours she’d been back in the safety of the convent, she could still feel a chill in her bones. A chill that was rapidly disappearing as she got closer to Ben. 

“I can feel it, its beating, clear and solid.”

“Physically, blood is pumping through me, but my heart is gone Rey. I traded it away years ago. I’ll keep up the charade for as long as we need to, but when we get back to the world, you should forget about me.” 

He wasn’t looking at her anymore, and Rey missed his gaze – there were fathoms there that went beyond what he’d told her about his job. She let her hand drop from his chest and back into her lap. 

“Will you forget about me?”

“No.”

“Why did you go looking for me?” Rey did believe that Ben had traded his heart away during law school. As fantastical as the concept sounded, she believed he was telling the truth. She also believed that the man sitting in front of her was more than the corporate lawyer he believed himself to be. 

His eyes snapped back to hers, “I couldn’t leave you out there alone. When the nuns told me they hadn’t seen you in hours, and then you weren’t in our room either...and then when I saw you lying there unconscious. Jesus, Rey I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared before. There was blood pooled next to your head, I thought the worst had happened.” His voice hitched and he swallowed thickly. I don’t think I breathed properly until you shifted in my arms when we got back inside.”

“There was a lot of noise,” Rey remembered suddenly. 

“The nuns were fussing over you for a long time. It was only after Mother Superior got a good look and your arm and your pupils that they left so you could rest.”

“But you stayed.”

“I wanted to be here when you woke up.”

“You were going to sit in that chair until I woke up? Even if it was hours?” The wooden chair next to the bed looked ancient. There wasn’t even a thin cushion to give the slightest illusion of comfort. 

“I didn’t want you to be alone,” he answered quietly. 

A pain that Rey had long since buried for her own survival finally cracked. It wasn’t  _ gone _ , not yet, but for once, it felt lighter. She shifted again so she could climb into Ben’s lap. It wasn’t until her legs were hanging off the bed and her head was settled against his shoulder that his arms came around her. Her ear was at his collarbone, and she could just hear his heart beating soundly in his chest. 

“I don’t want you to be alone either,” Rey looked up at him, his brow was furrowed like he was fighting with himself. “You came and got me because you were worried. You were scared that I was hurt. And you cared enough to ensure that I wasn’t alone. I don’t know how to explain your deal, or what changed, but you, Ben Solo,  _ have a heart. _ ”

“Rey–”

“If you were still heartless, you would have left me out there to fend for myself. You would have stayed inside where it was dry, and you wouldn’t have carried me all the way back here. And you certainly wouldn’t have chosen to sit in a rickety old chair for hours just so I wouldn’t be alone.” With  _ her _ whole heart, she knew there was good in Ben Solo, he just needed to see it. Believe it for himself. 

He studied her eyes silently. Somewhere deep in the convent, a clocked chimed midnight and rain battered against the bedroom window. 

“Ben, we don’t know each other, not really, but please trust me on this. You were lost for a while, but you can find your way back.”

His arms tightened around her and Rey settled her head back against his shoulder. They sat quietly like that for a long time, with no sound except the rain hitting the window and the steady thump of Ben’s heart. 

“I’d like to,” Ben answered eventually. “I’d like to know you, and I’d like to find my way back.”

Rey untucked her hand from its position against Ben’s chest and reached up to his face. Ever so gently, she guided his face down to hers and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. When they pulled away Ben kissed her forehead and tucked her back against his chest. 

“Can you turn off the light and get in bed properly, now? I didn’t like sleeping against the wall last night.”

“I’m sorry. For keeping you at arm's length and for what I said in the greenhouse.”

“I know.”

Rey scooted back under the covers and held them up, inviting him back. Ben stood to turn off the light, in the darkness she heard the shuffle of some clothes being shed, then the bed dipped as he joined her in their bed. Once he was settled Rey laid down close to him with her head on his chest so she could hear his heart beating. 

“Ben?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

Rey’s stomach did a funny flop at the endearment before she could remember what she was going to say. 

“You told me something incredible personal, and I want to –”

“Rey, this isn’t a score that has to be evened, I don’t expect you–”

“I want to,” she interrupted him. “You said you’d like to know me, I want that.” Rey took a deep breath, this was hard. Her friends knew she hadn’t had an easy childhood, but even her best friend Finn didn’t know the whole story about her parents. Last year, she’d learned the truth of who they were, but she couldn’t bring herself to voice the words. When Finn had asked about the results of the inquiry she lied and said they were inconclusive. 

As if sensing this confession was going to be a heavy one, Ben shifted his left arm so his hand could cup the back of her head. Rey nuzzled against his chest, grateful now that it was dark. It would be easier if she didn’t have to see him look at her with pity. 

“My parents abandoned me at a junkyard run by a man named Plutt. He needed someone small enough to get into small spaces and pull useful pieces out big trucks or whatever before they were scrapped. I stayed there through college. I stayed because I thought my parents would come back, and I wanted to be easily found.” Rey took another deep breath, now came the hard part. 

“A few years ago I submitted an inquiry to the government, trying to find my original birth parents or at least my original birth certificate. Turns out my parents weren’t the good people with unfortunate luck that I had imagined them to be. You know the movie,  _ Annie _ ?”

She waited for Ben’s soft reply before continuing. 

“I felt like she did, that my parents must have had some reason for leaving me, but that they loved me and would one day come back. Only my parents weren’t like the Bennetts. They were found dead in the apartment they were squatting in 15 years after they abandoned me. Heroin overdose, according to the official report. I was still working at Plutt’s when the results came in. He told me they had sold me to him, and even took a lower price than they wanted on the condition that he never tell me how to find them. I quit that day. My friend Finn let me continue to live in our apartment even though I couldn’t pay rent for weeks until I got a new job. I didn’t even tell him the truth about what happened.”

Tears were silently tracking down Rey’s face by the time she finished. Ben rubbed her back as her tears pooled on his chest. 

“Thank you for telling me,” he said quietly. 

“Can we talk more tomorrow?” Rey asked, looking up even though she could only see the shape of him in the darkness. 

“Yeah, but for now you should sleep, sweetheart.”

Rey pushed herself up so she could kiss his cheek. “I’m glad we found each other.”

“Me too.”

A weight had finally lifted from her chest, she felt freer than she had in a long time, ever possibly. Ben continued to rub her back until she fell asleep. 

___________________________________________

Ben woke the next morning to a weight behind his ribs, there was a thrumming there that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Like he was no longer hollow. And he knew the precious girl curled up at his side had more than a little to do with it. 

The room was lighter than he’d ever seen it, like the gloom outside had finally started to lift, but opening the curtains would mean disturbing Rey. Despite his decision to let her sleep, a knock on the door caused her to stir. Frowning, he carefully extricated himself from her grip and went to find Mother Superior standing in the hall holding a breakfast tray. 

“Did she wake? Is she alright?”

Ben looked over his shoulder at Rey’s still peaceful form. “Yes, she woke up for a few hours last night. She’s asleep now though.”

“We were worried when you didn’t come down for breakfast. I expect you haven’t looked outside yet today, but the rain has let up considerably. I expect you might be able to leave this afternoon if Rey is feeling up to it.” Mother superior handed him the tray, laden with thick, buttered toast and a small pot of tea. “See if she’s up to eating anything. I’m sure you must be hungry as well, dear. When was the last time you ate?”

Ben opened his mouth to assure her he was fine, but his stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly. Mother Superior gives him a knowing smile.  _ She can definitely read minds, Ben _ decided.

Rey was sitting up by the time he turned to close the door with his elbow. 

“Good morning,” she said, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. 

The nuns sent this up for us, apparently, we missed breakfast,” he sat down at the end of the bed and placed the tray between them. 

Rey looked over at the clock on the little bedside table, “Oh my god, Ben its ten past eleven! I don’t think I’ve ever slept that late in my whole life.”

“Really?” he looked up from where he was pouring tea into their two cups. He was really more of a coffee person, but needs must. 

“Well I always had work or school, even now on weekends I always find something that needs doing,” Rey shrugged, not meeting his eyes, instead choosing to stuff a large piece of toast in her mouth. 

_ Right _ .  _ Not everyone had my privileges _ . She’d pointed that out the day they met. But he resolved to find ways for her to sleep as much as she wanted, whenever she wanted. Not knowing what to say, he reached over to pull one of the curtains back. The clouds hadn’t really dispersed, but they seemed higher, less oppressive. And it was hardly raining anymore, just a few drops here and there. 

“Mother Superior said we may be able to leave today.”

“You must be happy, to finally get out of here,” Rey still wasn’t looking at him. 

“Maybe its not so bad here, even though I’m pretty sure Mother Superior can read minds.”

Rey smiled, but still kept her eyes down on the tray. Ben’s brow furrowed, surely she didn’t think that he’d be happy to leave  _ her too. _ “We won’t be engaged anymore, but I’d like to keep seeing you, Rey.”

When Rey finally looked up at him, her eyes were sad. “You live in the States, Ben. I go back to England in two days.”

“Well, I could move –” 

“We’ve known each other for barely five days, I can’t ask you to uproot your life for me. You shouldn’t uproot your life for me.”

Ben picked at a loose thread on the blanket. “What if it wasn’t  _ just _ for you?”

Rey stopped chewing her piece of toast, the delicate tea cup stalled halfway to her mouth. 

“I never told you why I was in Ireland. It wasn’t a vacation per se, well technically it was. My boss forced me to take leave.”

Rey swallowed and put the tea cup down. 

“I was assigned a new caseload about a month ago. Our firm had been contracted by ICE - that's the federal department responsible for enforcing immigration laws and well, much worse. I didn’t want to do it, but Christ they offered me so much money, I’d be earning nearly as much as Snoke if I won the upcoming cases. Then it became clear to me the conditions that people were forced to endure in what are essentially concentration camps. For the first time ever, I was appalled by what I was being asked to do. I lost my temper in front of the board and Snoke. I, uh, slammed a door so hard the window in the conference room broke.

Snoke came to me that afternoon and explained what would happen to my career if I was anything less than loyal to the company or if I didn’t secure the results expected of me. I was instructed to take the next week to gather myself and come back ready to serve. I went on that hike to make a decision about what I was going to do. Now I’m sure I can’t go back to the First Order, even if that means my career in law is over.”

Ben looked up to find Rey’s eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at him. “And you’re still convinced you don’t have a heart? Ben, that anger was the beginning. You knew it was wrong and you chose differently.”

“It doesn’t undo the damage I’ve already done.”

“No, but you can do other things now, good things.”

“How?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“We?”

“I still have two days of vacation left, from there...I don’t know, but I’m willing to try. With you.”

Ben felt his heart swell. A strange feeling to be sure, but a welcome one. The rest of the day passed in quick glances and giggles. The weather had indeed cleared enough that they could take their leave from the convent, but it took a while to convince the nuns that the trails would be safe enough. 

When the long goodbyes had finally spent themselves, Mother Superior pulled Ben to the side. He let his hand slip from Rey’s and went over to the waiting nun. 

“So now that you’ve got your heart back, what will you do?”

Ben gave Mother Superior an incredulous look, “How did you know?”

“A question for another time, child. But you are worried.”

“If I have my heart back, I broke the deal. He’ll be back, I don’t know what could happen.”

“He  _ took _ your heart. He never came through on his end of the deal.”

“But–”

“My child he didn’t give you your intelligence, your talent. He  _ took _ something from you, and you acted. Now Rey is giving you something. What are you going to do about it?”

Ben considered her words for a moment and looked back at Rey who was chatting with Sister Mary Patrick. Like she sensed his eyes on her she looked up and smiled at him. “I’m going to do whatever I can to ensure her happiness. I want her to know everyday what she means to me.”

“Good answer, Ben Solo. Now go on, the days are getting shorter and you have miles to cross.”

“Thank you, Mother Superior. For everything.” She patted his hand and sent him back to Rey. 

After more hugs, waves, and tears (on the part of Sister Mary Patrick), Ben and Rey went back into the forest. A forest which seemed far brighter and welcoming than the last time either of them had been amongst it’s trees. 

After a few hours of walking Ben asked Rey to come back to his house first instead of going on to Killarney National Park. “We’re closer to my car, let me at least drive you back to yours.”

“I think you just don’t want to let me go,” Rey teased poking him in the side. 

“No, I don’t,” Ben stopped short and pulled her in close. He kissed her in a way that was decidedly not church appropriate. When they pulled apart, Rey was blushing. “There are a lot of things I want to do with you, and none of them include letting you go.” 

Rey smiled up at him and batted her eyelashes, “Well, you better make sure we make it out of this forest, because there are a lot of things I want too.” 

Ben felt his heart beat faster. “This is a dangerous game you’re playing, sweetheart. You’re lucky I want our first time to be in a proper bed.”

___________________________________________

It took them six hours to get back to the parking lot where Ben’s old Land Rover was parked. 

“‘Scuse me, sir!”

Both Ben and Rey turned around to find a Parks Employee dressed in rain gear waving at them. 

“Can we help you?” Ben asked, gesturing to Rey to load her bag into the backseat of the Defender.

“This is your car?” the man asked. 

“Yes, is there a problem?” Ben inwardly cringed as he slipped into his lawyer voice.

“Its been parked here for several days, you know this isn’t a great place to leave your car for a week. Burglaries, ya know.”

“Oh, yeah. It wasn’t exactly planned. We got stranded because of the storm, we had to stay at the old convent until it passed.”

“Old convent?” the man scratched at his beard, “There’s no convent within at least 80 kilometres of here, you must have gotten really lost. Bring a personal locator beacon next time you try trekking out during a hurricane, son. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you or your lady friend.”

“Uh, yeah, thanks.” Ben responded, confused. There was no way the convent was 80 kilometres away, that was like 50 miles. 

“Anyway, good luck to ya, enjoy the rest of your stay in Ireland!” The man went back to his place near the visitor’s centre. 

Once they were both inside the Defender, Rey broke the silence. “There's no way the convent was 80 kilometres away, maybe he was just confused?”

“Yeah, maybe. There might be some old maps in the glove box, take a look would you?” Ben started the car and pulled out onto the road, swearing when the clutch stuck for the first time. 

Rey burst out laughing, “You weren’t kidding. I can take a look if you like, I might be able to fix it.”

“Oh yeah, what's it gonna cost me?”

“I’m sure we can work something out,” answered Rey with a coy smile. Which fell when she started flicking through the maps and old guidebooks. “Uh, Ben?”

Ben looked over, her expression worried him, “What?”

“There's no convent on any of these,” she gestured to the pile of papers in her lap. “Not for 100 miles.”

“Okay, maybe its just not the kind of thing you put on a map?” Even to his ears, it was a flimsy statement. 

“Right. Unless…”

“Yeah.” 

___________________________________________

A magic convent in the middle of the Irish woods was perfectly believable, as far as either of them were concerned. And a fine way to kickstart a new relationship and a happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an update! Sorry for the long wait, the last few months have been hard for the expected reasons as well as some personal stuff that I'm working through. You have probably noticed the rating change, I was going to attempt my introduction to a bit of smut but writing is hard enough right now, so its going to take a little longer to work up to smut 🙈
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with this story! I've got some more stuff in the works, so keep an eye out in the next month! Come follow me on twitter for some sneak peaks (I usually participate in Six Sentence Sunday) @alderaanbby

**Author's Note:**

> My first twitter prompt! Thank you for reading - there's going to be all sorts of tropes but I'm excited!  
> I'm also the most basic of bitches and have picked a song from my boi Andrew for the title and chapters
> 
> Come say hi on twitter and yell at me for writing fics instead of my thesis  @alderaanbby 


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